Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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