Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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