Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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