Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
