what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I need to align my fucking chakras
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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