the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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