You really coming over, don't trick.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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