Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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