i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
