yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
