Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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