Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
