I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
