So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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