he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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