i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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