i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
