It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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