porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Randomize
