Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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