You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
