Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
whose ass print is on the piano?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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