Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
