I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
