I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
