I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i now understand why vodka
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
