My liver just broke up with me...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
