let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
