my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
