Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
