Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
