do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
