When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
