who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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