i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
