Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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