I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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