i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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