"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
