I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
