kristin has been a bad kristin
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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