We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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