How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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