the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
