too bad you live with your parents still
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
