hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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