He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
