Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My liver just broke up with me...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
