look no pants
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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