never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
