I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
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