you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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