thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
