ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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