Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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