i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
