dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
