the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
